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May062016

The BDSM lifestyle: Interview with a submissive

2005 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo

She's twenty-four and an online banker for a prominant bank in San Antonio.  During business hours, she's simply Julianne.  When she clocks out, she's "Mistress" to some, and to others, she's called "slave".  Depending on the need to be fulfilled, this "switch" (the name applied to those into the BDSM lifestyle who swing between being dominant and submissive) can take on mulitple personalities designed to satisfy her deepest, darkest desires. (PicApp/Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images)

Intriguing, yet frightening to "Vanillas" (the name given to those whose sex lives are rather missionary), the allure of the bondage lifestyle is revealed in the following interview with the lovely Julianne. 

1. How were you introduced to the BDSM lifestyle?



It was actually a find really. I had always felt like there were two types of relationships...the kind like my parents had (usual dysfunctional drivel) and something better.  One day while just tossing about with my friends I was looking for something interesting to do and found a box of stuff that apparently belonged to my mom's boyfriend at the time...it had books and pictures and all kinds of stuff about BDSM. As soon as I saw it I was amazed. I thought "Finally...I'm not alone, and I'm not weird. There are others like me!" From that point forward not only did I find out that I wasn't alone, but that the lifestyle had a name, and people LIVED it. 

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2. Was your first experience (BDSM) as a dominant or submissive?

My first time, I was a sub. I had found someone else (the guy I was dating at the time) who was into the life style; only he really understood it.  I was still scared, but I knew what I wanted, and that was to be submissive. I explained to him all the things I was looking for and he happily obliged.  He'd come to my house and grab a duffle bag from his car, and when he got inside, we discussed what was going to happen (there is a lot of talking before you begin this type of relationship).  He pulled out rope and collars, dildos and things like that along with other things which, at the time, I didn't understand (candles, clothes pins, tape and a little first aide kit). 

 

3. How did you feel about it?

It was brilliant! I had never felt more at peace and yet so stimulated in my life! I could finally let go, and let someone else take the reigns for once. I remember the feel of the rope on my skin. It was really soft nylon but I could still feel the texture of it as it wrapped around my wrists. There was a terrifying feeling of helplessness for a moment when I realized I can't move my hands as they've been tied behind my back, but...then suddenly I felt extremely relaxed. All the commands were easy ones for me to accomplish. It gave me a feeling of security and safety that is difficult to explain. He had taken control of me, control of my body, instructing me on acts of what to do and how to do them, adding in words and phrases that I happened to like to hear.  My responses, be they physical or vocal, were what he liked to hear.  It was a balanced situation; very Ying and Yang.  (Flickr.com/by caoticland ) 

There was no milf bdsm drama in the scene, either. All the stress of school, and work, and bills, and all that just didn't come into play. I was his pet, and he was my master. I was happy to serve him, and as the commands came out, "Kiss this...suck this....whimper...moan....beg...." all of those things, I found myself even more into the role, and even more willing to do what he wanted.  I'd never been more turned on in my life.

 

4. Are costumes a part of it all or just optional?

Costumes are optional, though why you would want to go without them is beyond me. When I say costume, I'm not meaning an entire get up, though those can be rather fun, too. A costume can be something as little as a hat or bracelet or something along those lines to portray a certain role. In many scenes my partner enjoyed role-play (and I'm not talking about the stuff on Gaiaonline either!) he wanted to be more then just my master, he wanted to play a part and for me to play with him. If I were to be the sultry singer for a night, and he the jerk closing the bar I worked for, then something as simple as white gloves were enough to portray the idea of the scene that was being eluded to. I liked that because it was simplistic, and forced the mind to work out the rest of the details. I'm a firm believer that BDSM requires not only a deeply rooted perversion, but also a large amount of imagination and intelligence.

5. What are the rules that keep you from being seriously injured?

Safe words. These are so vital. Oh, a safe word is a word you would not normally say that can be used to call an activity to a stop or at least to lessen the intensity of it.  Its rare when a person will use the term 'antiquing' during sex, and not many words that you use during sex sound like it.  So it's a good word to use.  Its my word.  Communication is also key to any good sub/Dom relationship, beyond just the use of the safe word. People in the lifestyle generally know their partners better than most people who have been married for way too long. They know how their partner responds to things, emotionally, physically and mentally. This wasn't done by tying the other up and flogging them.  It was built through discussion before a scene, and after to find out what worked and what didn't. The other rules that come into play are more physical in nature:  NEVER choke anyone because there is no safe form of asphyxiation (if someone tells you they found a way they are lying).

A big rule when using bondage is that you should be able to untie anything in less then a minute without help. Suspension can be very tricky, because the ropes shift and move with the movement of the person being restrained, and often times a knot tied incorrectly will require conscious effort on their part to loosen. If you cannot easily untie someone have your handy dandy medic scissors on hand to cut the rope/tape/fabric/ or leather (yes...it happens and its very sad)

6. Is there a level of trust needed with your partner/Dom/submissive or can rules make it okay to "play" with someone you're not familiar with?

YES! Oh my yes. If you don't trust a dom then the scene will be choppy and terrifying, and not pleasurable at all.  Being tied up, gagged and blindfolded leaves you helpless.  Add on top of that the nudity, and you are in a prime place to get abused (and not in a good way).  You need to trust your partner, because they have the control and they are doing things to you, which in other circumstances can evoke strong emotional responses.  Your partner should know those things.  This goes back to the communication aspect. TALKING TO EACHOTHER BUILDS TRUST!  From a dominant perspective, its good to trust your sub as well; trust that feel comfortable using the safe word. This is important because without their guidance on their limits and tolerance, you could seriously hurt them.

 

7. As a submissive, what do you especially like for your dom to do? (particular toys you enjoy, actions?) 

I enjoy wearing my collar, that's for sure. It is a sign to the world that I belong to someone, and the fact that they have a key to it means I am theirs.  It really puts me into the subservient mindset, which in and of itself turns me on.  Also using their open hand for spanking. There is something intimate about being spanked with a hand as opposed to an instrument...and the bright red hand print is further signs of ownership.  As far as actions go, biting is amazing; not to draw blood, but that sharp feeling on my neck and shoulders, along the buttocks and inner thighs is incredible, especially the marks that are left behind. Those marks belong to a master...my master, and if anyone were to see them, they would know you were having 'kinky' sex.  Its humiliating to know others can think of you that way and for me, that is also a turn on. Certain trigger words can also be used, 'slut' 'bitch' 'whore' (things that if said to me outside of a scene would have me yanking a person's tongue out), are acceptable and more than welcome during play. (Flickr.com/by crazyemt)

 

8. What draws you to wanting to be submissive? To be dominant? What do you get out of both?

Submission gives me a way to let go.  As a sub I have not a care in the world besides the pleasure of my master.  Its quite relaxing.  It's a great way to just exist and feel.  As a sub, everything is very much oriented in the senses. This seems simplistic and rather dull, but because of our emotional responses to certain stimuli; smell for example, it becomes very complex.  I will always have a very strong, very sexual response to Cucumber Melon, because that was the type of body soap my first master used, and it still makes me feel the way I did when I was serving him.  Another part of submission that is wonderful is a feeling of beauty.  It doesn't matter what you look like or how much you weigh because when you are serving someone, you know that they chose you to be their pet.  it's a wonderful feeling.

As far as being a dominant, it is a feeling of absolute control. Your words become law, and your actions are "Divine". You have in your hands not just a lover, but you have someone who trusts you explicitly with their safety, wellbeing and pleasure. You are to make sure all of those things happen, and through those things, get what you want as well. There is something truly magical about hearing someone whimpering your name in a mixture of pain and pleasure, it's the ultimate power trip. A nice, light euphoria that lasts as long as the scene does.  It a warm sensation as well because you feel the ultimate love.  This submissive will do damn near anything for you; all you have to do is tell them.

 

9. Is actual sex always a part of it or is there satisfaction is just being submissive? Dominant?

Sex can be a part of it, but now that you mention it....no. Its not necessary at all.  While there is a sexual/sensual aspect to it; its simply enough to be submissive or to be dominant.  A scene can last an hour or days, and go the whole time with just sensory input ,changes, and words; no penetration needed. For me though, I find oral sex to be a must.  As a submissive it satisfies my oral fixation, and also allows me to serve my partner, where they are not needed to do anything, but sit an enjoy it.  As a dominant, it allows me to watch my sub work to serve me.

 

10. Do you seek out others into the lifestyle or not? If not, how do you bring up your desire to be dominated or be the one in control?

Meh...in all honesty the relationships I've had just kind of fell into my lap.  I've signed up on ALT.com before, but I wasn't too pleased with it, and canceled my membership (it was hellishly expensive as well).  I find that looking online for things like Munch's and meet-ups and facebook groups is really all I need to get by.  I'm not one to go looking actively though, because most of the time my boyfriend/girlfriend is into the same things I'm into, and often enough, those things are included. Anime, fantasy novels, and the like tend to attract people of  the lifestyle, so the subject is easily brought up and addressed.

11. Have you ever lost a relationship over your fetish lifestyle or scared a guy off?

Yes. And that was okay. We're still mates, we just don't talk about it. Hell, sometimes a person's certain fetishes scared me off.  We all have our limits and no one is the same. That is okay.  I honestly never expected every lover I've had or will have to be okay with tying me up and spanking me until my butt is a bright cherry red all the while calling me a slut....I'm the first one to say that to most normal people, vanilla people, that's just weird.  I see some things that way too, where my eyes will go wide, I'll blush and kindly back out of it.

 

12. Do you complete the role play by using pseudonyms (special names) for each other?

I like to call my partner either Master or Mistress, depending on gender. Though "sir" is also a favorite of mine to say. As far as what I like to be called, the list goes on and on, but I mentioned a few of the names earlier. When I am in a dominant role, I like to be called Mistress. Its easy and too the point.

 

Interested or intrigued by the BDSM lifestyle?  Visit Scout Bar this Saturday, April 3, 2010, for the Fetish Ball.  The FB is open to the public, and there will be plenty of opportunity to meet others who live the life. 

Special thanks to Julianne for sharing her story with Examiner. 

All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be reposted whole without written permission by the author.  Partial reposting with a link back to the original article is permissible.  For consent, questions, or comments, email megwynn@msn.com.


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May042016

Hard Up: Food Stamps Buy Viagra, Porno, Booze, Say Feds



(AP)

DETROIT (CBS/AP) "Viva Viagra" is right!

While you won't see this scene in one of those ever-present television commercials, federal prosecutors say they've busted up a Viagra-for-food stamps scam run by a liquor store in the Wolverine State.

Talk about being hard up.

Authorities charge that confidential informants were able to swap food stamps for Viagra, painkillers, booze and porno.

Federal prosecutors, pretty sure that this was not the intention of the social services program, filed fraud charges this week against three people who worked at Jefferson's Liquor Palace in the Motor City.

The alleged scheme typically worked this way: Food stamp recipients would get cash from the store in exchange for swiping larger amounts off their electronic cards. The asian free shemale web cams store would then be fully reimbursed by the U.S. Agriculture Department, unaware the program was being abused.



In some transactions, the confidential informants got more than just cash. The government says the store provided Viagra, painkillers, liquor, and porn videos in exchange for swiping about $2,000 off food stamp cards.

The government says overall fraud at the store topped $130,000 over 2 years.

The store is closed.

2009 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.




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Apr292016

Social Issues :: Religion Articles



Religion Articles

Home Social Issues ReligionBelief in Angels By Dr. Ismail Ulukus

Dear Readers, The second pillar of faith is belief in Angels. Angels belong to The Amr Alam (The Command World or The Angelic World), which is one .... Be entrusted to Allah. ---------------- [1]

Science does not deny the existence of Allah (swt) By Dr. Ismail Ulukus

Dear Readers, I would like to explain another important subject within believing in Allah. Some of the scientists think that religion is a "dogma .... is their true nature" to Allah (swt) rather than his mind. As the poet stated, the scale of mind do not weigh such a load. Be entrusted to Allah.

Muhkam and mutashabih verses of Qur'an By Dr. Ismail Ulukus

Dear Readers, Allah is excluded from space and time. In other words, He exists without a location and as timeless. Time and space concepts are the .... Allah. ------------------------------- [1] [2]

Heirs According to Sharia By Hassan Elhais

Principles busty ebony webcams of Succession: Shariah lays down the relations that qualify as heirs following the death of an individual. The deceaseds estate can only be .... authorities to necessitate the transfer of shares or liquidation. Any minor children are automatically placed under the guardianship of the surviving parent.

Overcoming Fear in Doing God's Will By Joseph B. Glosenger

Fear can be overcome. Even very fearful Christians can become brave. In my own experience of overcoming fear, I've found wisdom which I hope, dear .... read any part of this article receive these things, that God's will be in done in the lives of all, and that all men come to love our LORD God. Amen.

Blessings Follow in Serving God By Joseph B. Glosenger

I'm writing this article to encourage whoever reads to devote their life to God; true blessings come to us when we do the works which God has for us .... your life will be very fruitful for God's kingdom. I look forward to seeing you on the new earth. May God bless you richly. In Jesus' name, amen.

Paul Chehade - Summaries of World Religions. By Paul Chehade

Paul Chehade - Summaries of World Religions. The world's principal religions and spiritual traditions may be classified into a small number of major .... wish to turn you away from your religious beliefs or traditions. I see all religions as part of human history. Paul Chehade:. Honor and Truth

The Gift of Evangelism By Riley Stephenson

"Riley, I would love to do what you do, but I dont have the gift of evangelism." The words came from a well-meaning Christian who was referring .... in order to see miracles and signs following. All you need do is listen to the little promptings you get every day from the Lordand then be obedient!

4 Steps to Christian Inspiration By Boyce Cerney

Many times we study how to do things faster and better but we skip the essential step of inspiration. When we are inspired by the Holy Spirit we have a .... You have my permission to reprint and distribute this article as long as it is distributed in its entirety, including all links. Sean Mize 2006

Did you know why Buddha is called the enlightened one? By Thesakshat Experience

According to Buddhism, Siddhartha Gautama was born about the sixth century B.C., in a royal family. When he was a young adult, several experiences with .... are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection."

Is Jesus the Third Temple? By Brennan Mcmahon

According to the Tanakh (Old Testament) and ancient days, where did God dwell while on earth? The tabernacle, and then the temple. Always with the Ark .... or allegorically throughout by most Jewish scholars. So why, I ask, can't the mentions of the temple in Ezekiel be open for interpretation as well?



The Vatican Christens Telescope on Mount Graham "Lucifer" By Cynthia Long

The Vatican, the Jesuits and the University of Arizona unveiled an optical telescope on Mount Graham in Arizona named "Lucifer". The Vatican& .... the name of the telescope and Revelation? Father Coyne has since stepped down from this position and has been succeeded by Father Jose Gabriel Funes.

Why Christians Should Support Israel By Michael Evans

Almost all the Christians who live in the present world have paid their attention towards the Gaza. They are supporting Israel in this matter and plenty .... that Israel is precious to the God. He even wrote his name in Jerusalem, so every Christian should support Israel and prepare the land for Gods arrival.

Knowing About The Dream By Gary White

From its birth, Israel has been threatened by a lot of problems and challenges, but it held itself and journeyed the path of development. This is not something .... now, these two of the oldest religions of the world had been at loggerheads. It is high time to forget those differences and create something beautiful.

Here's Why I Adore Being a Praise and Worship Leader By Cllifford Aho

Being a Praise and Worship Leader is Something I actually love! I love the calling, I like seeing the congregation lost in worship and I even love the .... and if you have the same calling as me I know it'll bring you pleasure as well. It's why I really love being a praise and worship leader.

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Apr202016

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